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The testimony of Ronnie MacLean of South Uist and Culloden
Isaiah 40:28-29
Hast thou not known? Hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, faineth not, nor is weary, there is no searching of His understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increases strength.
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My Apprenticeship
I was brought up on a croft in Eochar South Uist and beginning my story from the time I left school my memories of my younger days are of a mis-spent youth. The Gym in Balivanich and the church hall in Bornish were major attractions. It was in the Creagorry Hotel, Benbecula that I served my apprenticeship in drinking, as drinking was for many young people a necessity to overcome being shy and reserved. A half bottle of whisky was always a requirement to stimulate confidence when going to a dance or any other social event and the more you drank the more confident you became. |
In the Army Now
By the time I was 18 years old I was already a heavy drinker and soon it was beginning to control my thoughts and my emotions. I recall a visit to my sister's in Lossiemouth and when she mentioned going to the cemetery I was convinced that she was going down to a pub called the cemetery. That was how my mind was controlled with almost every thought centred around drink. When I wasn't drinking I wish I was and the pub always had a magnetic attraction to my life. Whilst in the Army I spent three years of my service in the far east and some time in Germany
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Insults and Hurts
Although many people gave me good advice during those years I was not prepared to take it and continued to work things out for myself. My ways however ended in disaster and people called me a waster. Being called a waster was the greatest insult that anyone could give me and I could not handle being called a waster. I became a beggar for cash for booze and for booze itself. I would lie and deceive people and some of those people were family and close friends. Everyone else and every occasion was the cause of my problem but I was never held responsible as far as I was concerned. In 1965 I left the Army to work in a distillery with the excuse of wanting to be part of the Distillery Pipe Band. Three month later in what I recall to be one of the dark days of my life I was told that my services were no longer required and afterthat I worked in various places for short terms |
Marriage
In 1967 I married Mary believing this to be the solution to my problem. My drinking continued however and in 1969 my son Angus and my daughter Katie was born. We were now living in Manchester and as a result of my drinking my marriage was a mess with Mary being helped to cope with my lifestyle by doctors and social workers. I was now burdening the people whom I loved most with my problem
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Bereavement
It was about this time that two policemen called in a pub called the Half-way House to advise me that my father was seriously ill. When they called out my name I did not respond. "Is Ronnie MacLean here" was ignored. All kinds of reasons crossed my mind to ignore the fact that I was urgently required. By the time I received the message and made my way back to Uist my father had died. As I stared at his lifeless body all his good council came flooding back to me like a tape-recorder. Here I was yet again in a situation where I was too late or in the wrong place at the wrong time. My life was like a ship without a rudder. |
Looking for help
By 1973 I was in Rochdale with a wife and two children and a home which consisted of 4 walls and a roof. Mary and the children were ready to leave with their bags packed Mary suggested I speak to a man called Francis from Oldham who was with Alcoholics Anonymous and when I did he impressed me in the fact that he appeared to understand my situation and did not condemn me. I could relate to this man and on the following Tuesday I went to my first A.A. meeting. The simple philosophy of the A.A. is to stay away from the first drink. This worked for me for some month but the deep desire for a "real" drink was at times almost overwhelming. I would go to the pub with Irish lads who worked with me in the building trade and I would drink coke but one day the urge for a pint was too much and I dropped my guard and from that one pint I was back on the booze again.
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Finding Help
Some days later I was sober with a real desire to make something of my life. A desire to stop being the "waster" that I now realised I had become. I had a belief in God and in Jesus Christ but Calvary and the cross were difficult to bring into a situation which for all to see was hopeless. I had a life without hope, a marriage without hope and a future without hope. I would go to various churches and sit at the back to see if there was ever a glimmer of hope left for my life. I had by this time become lonely and I had become desperate. One night in this state of desperation I cried out to God "I've had enough Help me ........" It was not a prayer with much doctrine or theology but the cry of a sinner burdened with many fears. I want to tell you that, that night I saw in my mind's eye a vision of a man on the far side of the bed and an audible voice say "I will take this away from you" I had met with the risen Christ. This was not religion or denomination. This was not an organisation but Jesus Christ the Son of God. |
Something Real
That moment I knew that something real had happened to Ronnie MacLean and was it God who had done it. I searched the house for a bible knowing that many years earlier at Cameron Barracks I had placed one at the botton of my kit-bag. I required to go out with money in my pocket to buy a bible knowing that there may be the desire to go and spend that money in the pub. . I found that the power I received to break free from the shakles of slavery to alcohol was sufficient to allow me to make the choice to buy a bible. My weakness had been replaced by the power of God and I found in Christ Jesus mercy, forgiveness and acceptance. I had found in Christ Jesus that there was no condemnation and although the past left regrets I also found that I was set free from the shame and the guilt which alcoholism can cause.
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Bringing restoration
Jesus Christ has promised me that He will never leave me nor forsake me and I have found that from 1973 until this day the He has kept His promise. Some time after my salvation my wife believed for herself and this Jesus Christ brought life and hope back into my life, my home and my marriage. From 1965 to 1973 I had some 20 different jobs but now for well over 20 years I have been in the same occupation. The glory for all that belongs to the Lord. |
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From Desperation to Dedication
I want to tell you I came to a state of desperation
and cried out to God and like His word says He answered. From being in a hopeless situation God has turned my life around. He has never, since that day, I put my trust in him allowed me to go down a blind alley or into a dead end. At one time my life was centred around booze pubs and my problems but through His mercy and grace today I can say with all sincerity it is centred on Him, the man Christ Jesus who gave a sinner like me life and more, He gave me abundant life.. Everyone has a problem and maybe your problem is that you do not have a real relationship with Jesus Christ. For many years I looked for an answer to satisfy my life and the only satisfaction I have ever been content with has been Jesus Christ the Son of God and in Him I am truly satisfied and I rejoice in the Lord My Saviour and My God.
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